IN REVIEW.
The following excerpt is from ‘Lunch with The Laz’ –
‘Normally, I leave the atmosphere till later to talk about and it is usually a side thought, many venues have terrible atmospheres but it is in trade with the quality of the food they serve… But the Hendrix, located on Rakesfield Lane, was the first time where I lost interest in its food and watched as its staff worked.
I have been to the Hendrix previously on my own without intent to write a review a few times, and my faithful followers would know I only review a venue that I have had multiple problems in the past, but after seeing what the chefs and waiting staff have to deal with on a daily basis puts my problems into perspective.
The root cause of all my strifes (and most likely other customers) came down to one man, surprisingly not the owner, but the lowly dishwasher. From what I was able to hear, his name was David or something along those lines. Now what did this dishwasher do that was distracting to his co-workers you ask dear reader?
It all started when he came crashing through the kitchen wall.
Luckily barely missing the customers trying to have a nice meal (looked to have ordered the seafood platter for those wondering.) What followed from the broken kitchen wall seemed to be the filthiest junkie I have ever seen in my life, years of apparent drug use was apparent from his face.
When you think that is enough silly business for one day, the dishwasher pulls out a sword from his back (clearly a major safety hazard and should NOT in any way be allowed on his persons, the fact his employer seems to be fine with this is beyond me).
This ordeal had expanded to becoming a wrestling match in the middle of the dining room, where I was forced to watch due to the delay in my food, other patrons decided to start chanting and some even placed bets on who would win, but most bet on this dishwasher’s ability to fight this vagrant.
Whatever drugs this junkie had been in his body gave him a strength I haven’t seen even the most skilled athlete come close to. I have to admit when it became this level of spectacle, even I had to become invested in the winnings and losses of the Hendrix’s dishwasher, I even began chanting alongside my fellow diners.
And perhaps all I had done was add to the pressure of the situation. It had clicked in my brain that perhaps the owner allowed this from his dishwasher because they had a vagrant problem (this venue is placed in a rough neighbourhood, thoughts continued in the location segment).
Sadly the pressure must have crushed down on the dishwasher enough for him to lose the upper hand as he flung across back into the kitchen. This is where I say the expertise of the chef and other staff who knew to move out of the way as to continue working.
But that upper hand would be returned to the dishwasher when he jumped back through the broken wall now carrying what seemed to be a container of salt and started circling the vagrant with the salt, followed by what sounded like some sort of spell, finalised by the dishwasher lighting the salt with a match as the vagrant was sent to Hell.
I personally wouldn’t have sent that vagrant to Hell but it is a quicker solution than waiting for police to take him to jail. And that was all she wrote before I had my food in front of me, so before we move into the food segment I will give my final score for The Hendrix’s atmosphere…
After some adjusting of perspective and getting a feel for the vibe, I found The Hendrix was an incredibly welcoming venue with the added bonus of in house entertainment and a comradery unseen at any other venue, no one is excluded from watching one guy kick another’s ass back and forth around the restaurant.
9/10 – Atmosphere.’
Gene – You hear that Dave! He’s basically calling you our money maker! And I did make some big dough when that betting ring!
Dave – Glad to see someone got some enjoyment out of me fighting a demon.
Gene – Keep bringin’ here Dave, and you my friend can get a cut on the bets.
Gene turns around to everyone else.
Gene – I’m thinking 5%!
Gene walks off chuffed.
Everyone goes back to what they were doing before listening to the review. All except Gwen who stands there watching Dave as he continues to read the review.
Dave – Honestly, if anyone deserves this praise it should be you Gwen.
Gwen – I’m not the one getting thrown around.
Dave – But you do have the ability to work around that, how many people can say they work around a Hellish environment?
Gwen – Heh. Not many I guess.
Dave – Exactly.
STEAL MY SUNSHINE.
A GWEN SIDE-ADVENTURE
(set during The Sea of Green)
Another day and Gene was yelling about something that ultimately didn’t matter, at least not to me. All I could think about was Dave, as much as I hated to admit it. I hated to admit he wasn’t strong enough to protect us from the things we have seen in the time I’ve known him. It was everyone’s mind, clearly Gene’s too, where was Dave? Last I saw of him was when we all went out and he got kicked out after stopping that thug and the girl at the bar, and when we went to go check on him, he vanished.
I know Dave can handle himself, I have watched him handle himself myself and it wasn’t the first time he’s up and gone for a few days but this time was different. After 2 days, we contacted a friend of Dave’s we were told to talk to if something ever happened, Grey was his name, something like that. Even gave us a special stone or something to contact him, something about magic but it’s just a phone from what I can tell.
Dave had met Grey shortly after revealing himself as the dish- disaster or however you’re supposed to say it, and he seemed to make an impression on some of the girls with his good looks and distinguished ways. For whatever reason he took a liking to me specifically, maybe cause I didn’t feel the same way about him, and I was kind of dreading meeting up with him again but it was for making sure Dave was ok. That’s when we really started getting worried when even the guy we were told to find when Dave was gone was gone too.
‘Hello Miss.’
Gwen jumps from her thoughts to be greeted by a rather pale and well-dressing individual, sporting slickback black hair and covered with various pieces of expensive jewellery, he stood out like a sore thumb in The Hendrix.
Gwen: Oh, sorry. How can I help you today?
Mr. De Ville: My name is De Ville, I have a reservation.
Gwen: De Ville… De Ville, Ah, here… You’re on table 5 today, here’s some menus and just order over at this counter. Enjoy!
Mr. De Ville: Yes… Thank you.
Gwen went back to her thoughts and did not give a second one to the well dressed stranger, who as he moved almost otherworldly across the restaurant floor kept his eye on Gwen. A smile forms on his face revealing his fangs.
Maybe I’m just worried cause if Dave is gone, who is gonna make sure something doesn’t happen to me? I know that sounds selfish but isn’t survival important and all? How can I do that without being a little selfish, and Dave only seems to be making more and more enemies who will definitely want to come and hurt us to get to him. Well if I’m just going to be someone’s bait then Dave can stay away for a while and we can have a normal day at work for once.
Time passes and customers come and go, food cooked and eaten, but a constant has emerged for the day, Mr. De Ville remains seated and hasn’t ordered anything. Imani asked Gwen what was his deal, that’s when she notices that Mr. De Ville is looking at her with a sinister glare.
Gwen: Booking, under De Ville.
Imani: Heh, like devil…
A second passes as they realise the reality of their situation.
Imani: Ah shit, like devil… What are we going to do if David’s not here?
Gwen: Well we can’t jump to conclusions can we?
Imani: I think when faced with the devil, maybe.
Gwen: And look where he is now, I say let’s just play this smart and find out what we are dealing with.
Imani: Did you notice anything when you served him?
Gwen: Other than looking like he’s going to the races, not really. Does a funny accent make him a bad guy?
Imani: In Die Hard, yes.
Gwen: Die Hard doesn’t count, dork.
Gwen moves out De Ville’s view.
Gwen: Is he still looking at me?
Imani: Yep.
Gwen: Great, why is it always the ‘distinguished’ weird guys that have their eye for me?
Trent: Because distinguished guys are all weird, it’s a money thing. We talking bout that pale ass white guy?
Gwen: Some people need to go out in the sun more, I don’t get how some of you guys can stay inside for days at a time.
Trent: Hey, I go out when I want to… just don’t want to.
Imani: I basically live outside so don’t lump me in with the vampire out there…
Gwen: *sigh* Don’t even say that…
Imani: Just saying what comes to mind.
Trent: Well stop doing that, it’s getting us into deeper shit.
Gwen: Is it deeper shit or our way out?
Trent: Or third option, it’s our way out and deeper into more shit.
Gwen: There’s only one way to find out if he’s a vampire.
Imani: A wooden stake!
Trent: No, she’s talking about sunlight, just open the blind and let the sun in!
Imani: Sun at 8:24?
Gwen: Do you dorks have garlic for brains?
The two stare at Gwen before she lets out a sigh and explains.
Gwen: Garlic!
Imani and Trent: Ooooh.
Imani: But he hasn’t ordered anything, and if he does it’s not going to have garlic on it, so how do we get him the garlic?
Trent: Garlic bread going to another table when someone trips and drops it on him.
Gwen: Now it’s just a matter of who takes the food.
Imani: We’ve been staring at him long enough he might suspect one of us.
Trent: I might have someone in mind.
Pop-Rock was the perfect dude for the job, luckily he didn’t ask any questions about why we need to drop the garlic bread on some random guy, probably thought it was a prank or just didn’t mind putting some fancypants in his place. We all watched in anticipation, till I thought of something I should have earlier, what if our vampire flipped out majorly. I couldn’t bear to witness Pop-Rock get hurt.
Gwen ran over to Pop-Rock and called out to him, being so focused on his mission he couldn’t hear anything but his thoughts. Gwen was too in her own thoughts as well to notice a chair slide in her way, tripping her into the air and uncontrollably into Pop-Rock, her efforts to stop him were in vain as the plate was already slipping out of his hand. As Gwen fell to the ground intertwined with Pop-Rock, time moved slowly as she watched the vampire morph into a cloud of smoke as the bread phased through the cloud until SLAM and CRASH.
Ughh, What the hell was that? Glad Pop-Rock was there to break my fall but what happened to the vampire? Where did he go?
Mr De Ville: Looking for someone, girl? That trick got me once and I won’t let it happen again, you wouldn’t believe how many times someone tried what you did.
Gwen: What do you want from us?
Mr De Ville: I am looking for one of your fellow workers, one David Donovan.
Pop-Rock, Trent and Imani move in behind Gwen to back her up. The customers watch with fear, just the vampire’s presence brings fear to even ants in the plants nearby.
Imani: He’s… away right now. Leave a message at the beep.
Mr De Ville: Tell him Dracula De Ville wishes to discuss business, and give him this letter, it contains the address to my castle and he is free to visit me at any time he deems fit. I understand a man of my… stature, brings a reputation some find undesirable and most times that reputation is not far from the truth. In this case, I must go against it and-
Trent: The point, jackass, get to it.
Mr De Ville: *ahem* The matter will now wait until Mr Donovan and I have our meeting. For now, I bid you farewell.
And with another formation into cloud, Mr De Ville leaves The Hendrix. The crew stand in awe trying to piece together what they saw before discussing the implications of the conversation.
Pop-Rock: What the hell Trent! He was totally about to just give us the deets.
Trent: It was dragging, not my fault he had to take the long way round.
Imani: Doesn’t matter now… I just wanna know how I can do that cloud thingy.
Gwen: How bad is it when even Dracula is scared?
Imani: What do you mean? he didn’t look scared.
Gwen: He’s the only guy to relate to Dave’s… other work, we’ll say, that hasn’t been here looking to kill him and instead invite him to some tea time.
Trent: And it was something he didn’t want to say in front of us.
Pop-Rock: Something he was going to say before some dude rudely interrupted.
Trent: Dude! I don’t have time for long winded and wordy shit pouring out of his mouth.
Imani: Trent may have actually made the smart decision cutting him off.
Pop-Rock: I just wanted to know what he was going to say. Maybe tell Dave what he was getting himself into.
Trent: I’m glad he didn’t eat any of us.
Imani: Maybe he was full, already had his lunch before coming here-
The three boys continued their Vampire discussion before Gene came back out to tell them to get back to work, Gwen went back to the front desk. Wondering about Dave, how he can do all this and not break at the seams. She also misses his dumb jokes and at times empty head, but most of all she just misses him being there to talk.
Gwen: Oh Dave, where are you?
Their hero in a faraway land hopes for his plan to work, a plan to save everyone and get back home safe and sound. He is due for a reality check.